Well douche your snatch and let's go!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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