if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
