the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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