And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
