Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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