Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
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she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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