well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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