I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize