is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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