i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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