Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
