Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
