wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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