youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
