He had one of those small greek statue penises
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
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Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
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