So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
