new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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