There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
