felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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