Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.

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(937): Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls. http://tfl.nu/2r1d

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(817): View more from Texas

Dude. Creed is coming in september.

(1-817): View more from Texas

We're no longer friends.

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(817): Dude. Creed is coming in september. (1-817): We're no longer friends. http://tfl.nu/0z8r

Replies (43) Good night (1213) Bad night (4041) Order T-Shirt
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

myspace Music?

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(608): How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...? (1-608): myspace Music? http://tfl.nu/kj29

Replies (98) Good night (4218) Bad night (1501)
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(630): View more from Illinois

but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.

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(630): but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/k5cc

Replies (17) Good night (412) Bad night (4690) Order T-Shirt
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(480): View more from Arizona

you are hot. that is all.

(1-480): View more from Arizona

who is this?

(480): View more from Arizona

the delivery driver from silvermine.

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(480): you are hot. that is all. (1-480): who is this? (480): the delivery driver from silvermine. http://tfl.nu/dvq3

Replies (32) Good night (5496) Bad night (1380)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.

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(907): I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out. http://tfl.nu/os26

Replies (17) Good night (3830) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
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(785): View more from Kansas

Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.

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(785): Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before. http://tfl.nu/gt36

Replies (6) Good night (1584) Bad night (1432) Order T-Shirt
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(734): View more from Michigan

Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.

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(734): Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books. http://tfl.nu/5hjw

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(214): View more from Texas

I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.

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(214): I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities. http://tfl.nu/q7gc

Replies (10) Good night (1472) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

This theraflu would make for a great margarita.

(1-757): View more from Virginia

I can make a sudafedarita

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(757): This theraflu would make for a great margarita. (1-757): I can make a sudafedarita http://tfl.nu/10lx

Replies (5) Good night (1540) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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(347): View more from New York

I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?

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(347): I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank? http://tfl.nu/v6b9

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(410): View more from Maryland

Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.

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(410): Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times. http://tfl.nu/siml

Replies (8) Good night (2166) Bad night (624)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero

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(732): I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero http://tfl.nu/o55w

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"

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(864): I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY" http://tfl.nu/isd1

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(410): View more from Maryland

Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..

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(410): Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies.. http://tfl.nu/ny9r

Replies (2) Good night (1106) Bad night (195) Order T-Shirt

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