I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy