Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
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im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...