The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.