Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Jerry, you need to find god

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  (502): Jerry, you need to find god http://tfl.nu/604x
  Replies (17) Good night (684) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.

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  (850): I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night. http://tfl.nu/vbgm
  Replies (10) Good night (4727) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!

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  (727): A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend! http://tfl.nu/ajdu
  Replies (12) Good night (3531) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.

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  (914): still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay. http://tfl.nu/4bqn
  Replies (12) Good night (1605) Bad night (4467)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again

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  (732): hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again http://tfl.nu/ne0q
  Replies (23) Good night (1548) Bad night (7601)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.

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  (540): Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza. http://tfl.nu/9mae
  Replies (11) Good night (745) Bad night (3897)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.

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  (250): By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right. http://tfl.nu/wypb
  Replies (12) Good night (3582) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.

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  (440): If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times. http://tfl.nu/5360
  Replies (2) Good night (3409) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.

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  (603): Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight. http://tfl.nu/r24v
  Replies (17) Good night (2089) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.

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  (856): i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is. http://tfl.nu/k9ab
  Replies (13) Good night (1013) Bad night (2553)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.

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  (253): I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE. http://tfl.nu/sorm
  Replies (7) Good night (1623) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?

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  (515): Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo? http://tfl.nu/dsc3
  Replies (13) Good night (1377) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.

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  (914): Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random. http://tfl.nu/wx0e
  Replies (7) Good night (1230) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork

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  (917): When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork http://tfl.nu/bkbb
  Replies (12) Good night (683) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.

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  (303): It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple. http://tfl.nu/6uwz
  Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (238)

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