Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
