Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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