I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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