there's paper in my vomit.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
