Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
