i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
