Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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