they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
love makes seman taste better
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize