I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
