So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
