I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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