I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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