you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
