You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
