i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
