the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
