absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
