i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
