imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
