I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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