Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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