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why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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