Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
