Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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