At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
