I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So many bounce houses so little time
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
