why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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