"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize