TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize