Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
