PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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