My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
