Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
