your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I wish there were birth control emojis
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
