I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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