I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
