I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
