well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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