I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
