Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She announced her abortion via fbk
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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