All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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