Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
