How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
