Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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